Frustrated!

Today I am really very confused.. Things r not working the way I want to. Everyday there is new hope taking birth in my mind. I don’t know which one should I hold? 
Yes it’s killing me every day asking me about my future which is really uncertain.how some one can see or decide his or her future. People are being judgemental because of the things which we post. Why?
Everyone has its own life y people have to be judgemental. Every girls want to settle down being it her career or relationship. If things are not working for why people see it as a bad thing. She is trying hard to cope up. She is trying everyday to be stronger enough to face the world, her parents, friends, relatives etc.
Yes I got dumped on the first place but now I am looking for a relationship where there is a maturity and understanding. If a guy is not ready to take the responsibility what can I do? I don’t want to be burden on anyone. I have felt this before and I know how it feels. I don’t want to sound desperate but ya I feel all alone. Ofcourse everyone needs someone special where he or she can share her day to day things.. What wrong in that n y it should sound desperate. Everyone has different view for their life. People express their feelings differently if u can accept it Thn don’t judge it also. I want to be independent but it’s taking my breathe every time. 
Life was much simpler when I was in school. Even I had those dreams of settling down, getting married to the person whom I love but I did not worked out so what can I do. I have already punished myself for that. Now I don’t even dream of those dreams again because it’s broken. Now no place for those broken dreams. It was all an illusion. Even I had that girly side inside me but someone played with it n killed it. Yes I was silly, innocent n immature to love someone madly. But love is all about immaturity only.. No one thinks before loving someone. Yes I feel lonely at times. So what? 
People say you have become like a boy- Excuse me! I love being dressed up, just because I don’t dress up like a girl anymore doesn’t mean I am a tomboy. It’s just somethings change. Yes I changed for good. I changed for myself so tomorrow no one plays with that little heart. 
I also want a normal life but if God has planned a mellow drama for my life what can I do? I don’t like being judged by anyone nor I do! 
Yes it feels little bad when you see people around you are settled. They are sorted with their career n other things. But it’s not same with everyone. 
I am frustrated enough. I don’t wish anymore for me. I just want to make my parents proud of me. I want to work hard. I want to become independent. 
I am not desperate I am just frustrated. It’s just I don’t show it to you or tell it to you. Yes posting some thoughts, quotes, songs, on facebook page doesn’t mean it’s for someone. I take it as my diary where I post whatever I feel. I am not that techie if someone ask me to change the setting I ll do it coz they are judging me because of my posts.
There is hell lot of other things going on my life. If you really want to judge me please be a part of May Day to day routine. Then will see!

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